Financial News, Politics, and other Skullduggery

Financial News, Politics, And Other Skulduggery

Friday, April 20, 2012

James Cameron: Man, Machine and Beyond

by Salamander Fantômas and Eerie Crevice

It was a hundred years ago today that Muslim extremists steered the Titanic into an iceberg, thus ending the Belle Époque and setting into motion the gears that would drive gear-maker Gavrilo Princip mad and cause him to start shooting at Archdukes, which set into motion the bullet which set into motion The Great War, which set into motion Dada and Surrealism. So it is that André Breton owes a debt to James Cameron, without whose films there would be no war. It's simple Terminator logic.

Today, the world is rapidly approaching an important crossroads. On the one hand, Hollywood prostitution is at an all time high. On the other, politicians are running out of high quality cheese imported from Tobago.

What the world needs now more than ever is James Cameron in space. In recent news, Cameron, after several successful missions to Planet X, hinted at fronting a space mining company to outer space. Imagine Hollywood's mogul importing rocks and other valuables from his home planet, Neptune.. It could very well lead to many new advances in space and medicine, but of course the most important thing to remember is that Hollywood is quickly running out of interesting story lines. In an age of scarcity and over-population, it seems that movie-making is always the first to go and we urgently need to fill that void today.

So in that vein we offer these creative possibilities that might inspire some hope.

  • James Cameron starring James Cameron, written and directed by James Cameron
  • "James Cameron, You better not leave the door open to that spacecraft dear, says his wife"
  • Earth Self-destructs, Mars Explodes, Have a Coke and a Smile (15 minute infomercial)
  • James Cameron as Shrek in the new action thriller, Shrek Gets an Electric Poodle (Cameron frees the children but ultimately must kill them in order to save them from themselves.)
  • James Cameron and Beyonce - All Up In These Stars, the floppy hip hop musical

Avatar II: First Blood

Avatar: Wallstreet III

James Cameron as Shrek
James Cameron-Lady Gaga clone

(Artist Renderings - click for larger images)

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