What's good for tourism?

A real man is not someone that protests the rich but one who, spotting another man's Mercedes Benz, stops to think "one day I might only be so lucky". Good luck with that, young man!

Foreigners are attracted to America because they know it is the world's number one destination for spending, consuming, and crazy casino-style gambling in the markets. To the protesters out there in the streets today who might find flaw with God All-Mighty's economic system: you are not a patriot; rather, you are the problem and not the solution.

MAYOR SAYS "PROTESTS BAD FOR TOURISM"

With all of the activity of late on the streets in NY and elsewhere, vendors are finding it difficult to pass off cheap souvenirs and t-shirts with banal advertising slogans on them to patrons. Police are looking to clean up the streets as quickly as possible in order to remedy the sticky situation. Law-makers, doing their diligent part, are working to put together legislation that will ban all signage without logo and legal trademarks clearly displayed on them to officers of the law.

One democratic law-maker sympathetic to the cause urged protestors to keep it simple in order to avoid confusion and trouble. For instance, he suggested displaying such friendly and uncontroversial signage as: "Get Met, It Pays" or "Have A Coke And A Smile!". It was unclear whether he was connected to either corporation.

Supposing the Occupy Wall Street movement fails to lose steam as authorities are desperately hoping, there are still those who stand ready to profit. Whether it be the likes of Juicy Couture, the irrelevant but ever-present MTV1-4, or indeed the banks themselves is unimportant; rest assured that capital will never cease its upward flow. Ultimately, the revolution will be televised, if confiscated.

DO NOT READ

ATTENTION: DO NOT READ THIS
Too late, you are now being surveiled!
Follow these instructions: carefully back
away; pretend to be tying your shoe;

next, bolt through the nearest available

doorway. You are now part of the revolution

whether you like it or not!

Guess what? We are gaining great company

by the minute! Deloris the nanny just joined

yesterday and so did Trent the reasonable

accountant! Hey, life is still grand!