BOMBS ARE FOR CHILDREN

Or so you might be lead to believe. [A picture of a woman named Sally working diligently at the bomb assembly plant, alongside her 3 children, Raytheon, Boeing, and G.E., putting in 16 hours each day. Bombs ensure peace, stability and the American Way of Life. It can be confusing in trying to determine who the real terrorists are sometimes, but a good indication usually is 1) the color of the skin of the individual in question 2) their occupation and how much money they make and, finally 3) the country of origin. If one is born in America one is most likely not a terrorist, however that is quickly changing (no thanks to any limp-wristed croissants on the other side of the Atlantic who be hating on freedom). Does your government support terrorism? Ours certainly doesn't! We set the standards for behavior around the world, spreading democracy ever since 1776. Just ask our friends, the Native Americans.]

NO: FACTORIES ARE FOR CHILDREN, BOMBS ARE FOR ADULTS

Bombs are not toys. Factories with bombs for adults are not playgrounds for kids. The roofs of factories for adults should be designed so that light travels inward but adults can not readily travel outward (this is common sense), while children remain separately confined. We try to emphasize that hopes and dreams have no place in the work-place, regardless of age, other than to aid in the commoditization of desire, but this too is common sense.

It may help to have the insides of non-bomb factories painted with zebras and giraffes, as long as attention is not too diverted from the work routine, however nature, being as it is-an undue nuisance at best - is to be avoided most of the time. Until we reach the final stage that toaster ovens can replicate themselves, we will be stuck carving out the world one young hand at a time. As we are quickly learning through science, opinion is just a minor inconvenience. And as one of my favorite sayings goes, if the mice are willing to play in the maze: let them eat cheese.

For now, let's keep children where they belong: inside factories, away from bombs and not blowing up buildings, which is always counter-intuitive to economic growth.

Finance

BREAKING NEWS:

This just in: everyone is full of crap. Yeah, and so what? Human nature is centered around the basic premise that GREED IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, BABY! Hallelujah! Tune out, go see another Hollywood film, and shut your mouth.

Now moving on along...

Financial Sense - It starts in the Work Place

Financial sense should dictate all action at home and in the work-place. And in every miscreant there is a good manager in training. Thankfully, we put all our trust in false idols and the cult of personality to foster cultural education and training. If one is gregarious, there are any number of groups designed to facilitate the furtherance of oppression and guilt outside of the church (separation of church and state). Go look them up! The economy is not in trouble, like many well-intending individuals would have you believe, in fact it is quite the opposite: there are many decently paid women today with staplers as heads that can not get enough clerical work. There are the elderly who are unemployed, so they offer themselves up as door-stoppers in busy office spaces, and likely are paid very well I might add. All work is meant to bore you into complacency and then, ultimately, death--a basic truth that shall not be taken for granted. But it is those who rise above that of the common employee, who, reaching the apogee of their perceived orbits, stop to ask the question: but how can I rise even higher? And the answer is always to either hire another manager or create a new rule for the work-place. When it comes to working with stubborn employees, it can be a little trying on the patience. Just how does one pull lemons from a bull, you might ask? (Answer: directly through its ass). Termination is usually a step of last resort, but if a life must be ended--so be it--think of it as creating more job opportunities for the unemployed and lazy classes.

And that is your financial sense for today.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

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